Independence Day

Most of us think of Independence Day and automatically our thoughts go to the military and the wars we’ve fought as a nation to be free. And rightfully so, that is what this holiday is about. It needs to be honored as a day to reflect on our freedoms that we enjoy as Americans and the sacrifices that were made. It is more than just a day off of work (for some) and a day to stuff your face with BBQ; it is a day to celebrate being an American. And if we want to continue to enjoy those freedoms that so many have sacrificed for; it is also a time to commit to voting for a leader that will take America back to the glory of days gone by! But I also like to think of this day on a more personal level. To think about my individual freedom. And with that I mean freedom from my fears, and the past that holds me back. And to think about what I am willing to do to achieve my dreams. My life partner and I took a huge risk moving to Texas, knowing three people in the whole state! And the reasons for doing so were extremely personal to us both. And then we took an even bigger risk by quitting our jobs that we had both held for over 14 years. Some risks pay off, some don’t. I’d say on a mental level that it was well worth it to move to Texas and also to leave Walmart. A person shouldn’t have to deal with daily persecution just to earn a paycheck!! But, quitting Walmart came at a huge financial costs to us both. A financial deficit we are still trying to overcome! So, right now I struggle with how to be free. We know what our dreams are for the future, but we have no idea on how to achieve them. We mostly just live on faith and hope as we go about our days working to pay our bills. There isn’t much time to just sit back and enjoy life. That is the main problem that seems to knaw away at my soul. Because I can’t figure out why we are working so hard, to just not even have time to live! I watch shows like Mountain Men and see those people struggle to survive but at the same time they seem so blissful. I think how I wish we could just walk away from all our financial obligations and just live somewhere, off the radar. Then I think about how crazy that must sound to most people. I don’t know what the future has planned for us. I do know I am with the person I was meant to be with. That my life partner is the other half of my soul and I would follow her to the ends of the earth and back without hesitation. I do know that next year we can put the house up for sale and hope for the best, and look to buy land and hopefully have a log home built on it. The house doesn’t have to be huge, but we do want a big porch. There is no guarantees in that plan, but it is a plan nonetheless. I don’t know if we will stay in Texas, but I know there is a 98% chance we will. We especially like the Grimes County area of Texas. I pray that God will allow us to win the lottery and prove that we can do so much good with the money. We are not materialistic people, we are extremely charitable. I do know that I somehow need to find other work. That working retail is not going to be what gets me to my dream life. And that is the hardest part, because I find it nearly impossible to break out of retail. I wanted us to be successful at our own business, and given more money and more time I think we would of picked a different business to put our money in to. But, again, you live and you learn and we made a huge gamble and it didn’t pay off. I know I am smart enough to learn anything, and I am also too stubborn to admit defeat. I will continue to believe in our dreams until I take my last breath. And I will continue to apply for jobs I am not qualified for, hoping that someone will give me an opportunity to be more than I am. I believe the impossible is possible. Today is a day of sadness for my family, they lost a loved one. I believe his soul is now free and that his impact on the world will live on in the memories of those he touched; and the family he left behind. I know that he lived life on his terms, he took risks and some paid off and some didn’t. But, he never gave up! That is an important lesson for anyone in life; because there are always going to be people telling you to give up. But, you have to believe in yourself; and you have to believe in your dreams. Life is more than just a paycheck, or your possessions; life is about creating memories and truly living, not just existing!

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~ by destiny2b on July 4, 2012.

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