What is a home?  Is it just a structure consisting of a foundation, walls and a roof?  When you think of the word home, what feelings do you have?  I’ve never been one to be attached emotionally to a home.  Growing up, I moved alot so it didn’t really seem to matter.  And my home environment was not a peaceful one.  As I got older and married my soulmate, that changed some.  Our first house, I was grateful for, because it meant we wouldn’t be homeless.  We enjoyed the small house, with two bedrooms.  As time went by, we became dissatisfied as problems with the house became worse.  The house itself was technically condemned, it should have never been sold to begin with.  We didn’t really know our rights, and found out later we could have gotten out of the mortgage and sued the realtor.  We got ourself into financial trouble, due to trying to conceive a child and also being more charitable than we could afford to.  Then we got involved into material possessions, thinking they would fill the void we felt for not having a child.  We filed bankruptcy and moved in with my mates mother.  She has Alzheimer’s, so it made for a very tense living situation.  I love her mother so much, but we couldn’t live there long.  We felt stressed and pressured and ending up buying a real true fixer-upper of a house.  I did fall in love with the big rooms, hardwood floors and the possibilities of the house.  We were thrilled to be on our own again.  But once again, the reality of how much it costs to fix the house, starting mounting and we were in way over our heads!  During the 11 months we lived with my mates mother, we did nothing but watch HGTV and we began to believe we could do anything!  Those projects do not take a half of an hour, at least not in our world!  So, we lived there for three years and just became very despondent.  Then we decided to leave the great state of Missouri and basically run away from everything.  We needed a fresh start.  So, we took on the crazy task of moving to Texas, where I had spent a great deal of my life.  We found a house that was foreclosure, and it was up for bids.  We snagged the house for a cool $98K and it was only two years old!  We were thrilled!  I felt the house was bigger than we needed, but some of the smaller homes we looked at costs anywhere from $10-20K more, so we bought our current house.  And it became our HOME!  This is the first house I ever lived in that felt like home.  I love the feel of it, the neighborhood, I just love it.  And now, we are about to lose it!  The home will go into foreclosure within the next few weeks.  I have been searching for a job that will cover my bills, but it’s been impossible to find.  I am willing to work two full-time jobs, but I can’t find ones that will allow shifts that I need to accommodate both.  So for the first time in my life, I will be losing my home.  Weird, I really didn’t see this coming!  I am usually better about things, I really thought I was finally on the right path in my life and now all I can think of is that I am a huge failure!  So, maybe I need to rethink what the word home means.  Because the saying is “home is where the heart is” and my heart is only with my soulmate.  And in all reality as long as I have her, then I know I’ll be okay.  It’s her I worry the most about, how she will cope.  She is so strong in her faith and belief that nothing bad is going to happen.  She is a true believer in miracles.  I try, but I fail.  We could sell our home, but we’d have to sell it for enough to pay back the $8K for first time home buyers and then have enough to move into an apartment or something.  We currently have not enough in the bank to pay our mandatory bills.  But, at least we have a car!  That is always a possibility, living in our car.  I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for us, we made our choices.  We truly believed our business would succeed.  When we became affiliates of Franchise Alliance and opened Best Graham Franchise Consultants, LLC we were told on average you recoup your initial investment of $25K in 3-6 months.  So, we thought we had made a wise decision.  We do believe in our business and think we offer a great service.  But, we have yet to make a single penny from the business we opened in February of 2011.  If you want to check out our business, we would love to help you www.bestgrahamfranchiseconsultants.com Also if you would like to give me a job, I have over 17 years of retail experience and also am a fast learner.  I am willing to work just about any job, except commission based only, as I need real stability in my finances.  Thank you to all who take time to read my blog, I know there are not that many of you, but writing is very thereapuetic to me.  Much love to all, have a blessed day!


~ by destiny2b on August 27, 2011.

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