Life Health

Over 6 years ago, in the time period of 11 months I lost over 150 lbs. To many people it seemed like I woke up skinny! That it happened overnight. But it was a LOT of work. It started with a mental change, then a physical one. I don’t believe in diets for long term weight loss. I think it has to be a life change, an attitude change. I kept the weight off for almost 3 years. I’ve gained 80 lbs of the 150lb weight loss back. So, that is not a failure, but it’s not a success. Unfortunately it is a reality! Many who struggle with their weight gain all the weight, if not more back in the first two years. I use to let my ego get in the way, thinking people would see my weight gain and view me as a failure. It’s hard to overcome that feeling. As a society, we tend to be consumed by what people think of us. In the last two years, I’ve had some tremendous highs and lows. And it’s made me really look at myself. I am an emotional eater, and I have to change the way I view food. I have to love myself, my health MORE than the taste of food. I’ve struggled in life, much like everyone else to where I’ve blamed others for my life, including God. Reading a book called THE SECRET made me realize that I have to take responsibility for my life, my actions. So, I have to look at why I gained the weight back. What caused me to fall back into bad habits? The easy answer is depression, I struggle with it. But anyone who was around me while I was fit, knows that I was “high energy” and confident and happy. The truth about depression, it sneaks up on you. And many of us who suffer, become great at hiding our true feelings. For awhile, I blamed my mate for my weight gain. Because I felt so good, so healthy and then my mate started telling me I was too skinny! That shook my confidence. Then after all the years trying to get pregnant, the finances were not good. We went bankrupt! That kind of blindsided me! So, I blamed that! Then, we tried one last time to get pregnant. I was healthy in great shape. It didn’t take! So…. I guess I just lost hope! I didn’t want to deal anymore. So, why did I gain the weight back? Easy answer is I stopped exercising and started eating whatever I wanted. Which the easy formula for weight loss is you burn more calories (energy) than you intake. But why did I stop exercising? True, I had a lot on my plate emotionally! But, it wasn’t my mates fault. It wasn’t because of the bankruptcy. And it wasn’t because of not having a baby. All of these hurt me deeply, but I gained weight simply because I stopped caring! I didn’t care about myself anymore. My life goal has always been to be a mother and when faced with the reality of no money and no baby, I just didn’t see the point. Now, I see that I have to LOVE myself and be happy in my life to achieve what I want. And I see that I am blessed to have a mate that loves me, truly loves me, through all the struggles in life. I am ready (I’ve said it before, but really mean it now) to get healthy again. I’m doing it strictly for myself this time. Not for anyone but me! I am not defined by a number on the scale or a size of clothing, but I loved the confidence and the way I felt when I was fit. I am ready to face LIFE head on and overcome! I am the only one who can do it, I am in control of my life. My success and happiness is soley on my shoulders. Once again my mate and I are facing financial difficulties. My mate has no worries, but I know the reality we face. I do stand by our decisions and know our love is strong enough we will survive whatever happens. I am choosing to take my health seriously, to prove that I can get healthy while facing a crisis. Food will not be my friend, I will not wallow in self pity! I will exercise, I will power through my problems. I will talk about my feelings, instead of allowing depression to overtake me. I will love myself, love my life and have faith that God is watching over us. That I am on this life path for a reason!! If I can work on myself, maintain a positive attitude, and overcome my problems with weight at this time in my life, then I believe it will be permanent. I’ve learned a lot in the last two years. I am stronger than my biggest weaknesses!!

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~ by destiny2b on May 26, 2011.

2 Responses to “Life Health”

  1. Wow, amazing post so full of honesty. That is amazing that you lost 150 lbs in 11 months. I know you can lose the weight you gained back. You are stronger than you realize. Good luck with everything!

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