Day 15 of Healthy LIFE Journey

Today is a continuation of day 14, I am feeling crampy and sickly to my stomach.  So, not much going on with exercise today for fear of I may throw up!  It’s a perfect day to get caught up on writing my novel and maybe do some art work.  My mind is swirling as I take time to reflect on the past two years and specifically on the events thus far of this year.  My life is indeed a roller coaster ride, some of which is my own fault.  I allow situations in my life that create turmoil.  A big part of this life journey I am on is identifying what I want in my life.  I do not want drama in my life.  I want to live a very peaceful life.  The problem with achieving that, is if you love and care about people there is a tendency to want to help them.  That is where drama comes in to your life.  Because you are allowing yourself to take on their problems, and trying to help them to solve them.  There are different types of people in the world, you have the type who will take your advice and follow it, but if something goes wrong, you are the only one they will blame.  Then there are the ones who will constantly complain, not listen to your advice, but constantly ask you what they should do!  And lastly, there are the ones who are the forever victims in life, all they do is complain, they don’t work towards fixing anything, it is their lot in life to be a victim of circumstances!  So, I am struggling with learning how to care about people, but not take on their problems.  I know that I alone am in charge of my life and only I can make it better, only I can do the work to get healthy, both mentally and physically.  So, why do I not see that in others, I know I can not help them achieve what they alone must do.  But, still there is that part of me that doesn’t want to see people suffer unnecessarily!  This is probably the biggest struggle in my life, is learning to let go!  To know that only the individual can change their lot in life.  I am coming to terms with that and learning what I will accept in my life and what I won’t.  i consider myself to be a loyal friend,but I don’t think being a friend should be one-sided.  And I don’t believe being a friend means that you have to subject yourself to negative emotions.  But, then I struggle with knowing that most people who are going through a dark time in their lives, need a friend who will listen.  It is something I will continue to struggle with.  But I took a big step in this struggle by being honest about how I feel.  First be honest with yourself, then you can be honest with the world!  So, I am making progress.  I was reminded the other night that if you worry that shows lack of faith.  I have always been a worrier, I was raised that way.  But in the last 6 months, I have gotten to where I really don’t worry so much.  I have moments, but they are fleeting, unlike before where they consumed me.  so, I would say that I am getting stronger in my faith.  Looking forward to tomorrow,by then the body should be recuperated enough to at least do a light workout!  I am really missing the workout, but feeling very nauseated so I know it would be counterproductive!

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~ by destiny2b on March 30, 2011.

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