I am bewildered by the people who are so easily accepting of the Moon and Planets affecting the Earth, but not willing to accept that the planets, have an effect on humans!  I’m no science nerd, but I have some basic knowledge and I am pretty sure, that us humans are made of the same “materials” as the earth!  Just take the Moon for example, the great effect it has over the tides, the oceans, the largest masses of water!  Our own bodies are made of mostly water.  In my youth, I read my daily horoscope (based on your Sun sign) and hoped one day it would tell me I would find true love!  Well, the sun sign is about as generic as it gets, and most of us will find it doesn’t “fit”.  Sure, every once in a while, something will match up, but most days it left me scratching my head!  Then I went through a phase where I didn’t believe in it at all.  Now, as the years have gone by, I take Astrology pretty seriously!  The more I learn about my own personal chart, the more I see where things have happened, that were destined to happen.  And I chuckle sometimes knowing, that I can truly be my own worst enemy!  I am an Aries, for all that entails and have a fiery streak!  But, there again is more to my chart then my Sun sign.  And many factors are in play as to how my life turns out.  The Moon rules your emotions, and when the Moon is closest to the earth I am definitely affected.  The Moon has the biggest influence on women, not only with their monthly cycles (period) but also in areas concerning fertility and having babies.  But, don’t misunderstand what I am saying.  LIFE is all about FREE WILL!!!  No matter how the planets aligned at the time of your birth, life is still yours to live!  But, we are born with certain “tendencies” and if you believe in reincarnation (as I do) then we are born with “baggage” we have to overcome.  I have always wanted to be a mother.  I’ve tried.  I’ve failed.  Those failures have left emotional scars that I am not sure I will ever overcome.  If I had a complete chart done, I could have saved myself some heartache, by seeing that giving birth is not in my chart.  My planets are afflicted and not giving very much hope of being a mother.  I know this NOW.  But, being who I am, I’m not sure if I would have believed it even if I had the knowledge, those so many years ago!  I’m not the most trusting of people, so I do believe I would have been skeptical.  Now, looking back, I can see it and I believe it.  I will soon be 37 years old, so realistically it doesn’t look favorable.  That is when it comes to giving birth!  Doesnt’ mean that some day I won’t become a foster parent or adopt or have a ZOO of animal babies (LOL).  I am a pretty determined person.  Another thing I have discovered, being my own worst enemy, is my tendency for depression and melancholy.  Being an Aries, the head is ruled by this sign.  So, unless I am active (physically and/or mentally) I tend to get depressed.  I have to be “entertained”.  I also tend to scatter my energy into lots of “projects” and have a hard time finishing them.  Thankfully, as I am identifying the areas where I need to improve, I am trying to do my best to improve!  Financial wealth doesn’t seem to be in the planets, for me.  But, doesn’t keep me from trying my best!  The only failure in life is not trying!  My life is more about self exploration, healing and adventure.  Healing of myself and others.  Learning to let go and move forward.  And having adventures in life, stories to tell, rather than just being stable and safe.  I am very imaginative, and artistic and well suited to be a writer.  But, I have to focus, or I won’t achieve my goals.  It helps that my mate is a Cancer, because although when it comes to Sun signs, we shouldn’t get along, my mate definitely helps to settle me down.  To keep me focused and positive.  My chart shows me to be a natural cheery person, high energy and upbeat!  And when I am happy, I am all that and more.  When I allow myself to get down, I am so miserable that I can’t stand myself, let alone anyone else.  There is nothing in life that was DONE to me.  In one way or another, I am the only one responsible for my life.  That is the key, to finding happiness, to know you are in charge of your life.  At least for me.  When I stopped being a victim and accepted that in some way, I was responsible for everything in my life, well that is very powerful!  because once you acknowledge that, then you can stop having negative experiences in your life.  As I write this today, I realize I am on the verge of taking a negative spiral.  I am feeling melancholy and disillusioned.  I am allowing myself to feel this way and it is up to me to take control of those feelings.  I have not decided as of yet how to get myself out of the depressed state, but I know it must be done, before it gets too bad.  I believe in God or a power over the Universe, my beliefs in Astrology, Numerology, Feng Shui, Chakra, or any other self-healing belief system you can think of, does not interfere with my belief in God.  I believe in all paths to God and think all the “tools” presented in various belief systems and self-healing techniques are put there to help us get closer to God.  If you are to believe God created me, then you have to believe that God lies within me.  I don’t have to get all dressed up and go to a fancy church to worship God, I worship Him everyday in my daily actions of life.  I have faith God will never give me more than I can handle, because as of yet, He has not.  My faith, is strong.  I am on this path in life for a reason, everything in life, happens for a reason.  Choices are put before us, we choose the path.  I do not know where the end of the road will lead me, or if I will choose to stay on this road.  But, I do know I am in charge of my own destiny.  I do feel I am here on this earth for a purpose.  Just as we ALL are.  Even those who are only on this earth for a short time, were here for a reason.  And the lives they touched will never be the same.  You never know whose life you may touch and how that may affect them.  Recently I reconnected with someone from my past.  This person and I have a bond, that really makes no sense whatsoever.  Can’t explain why we have this bond, but we do.  And it is not mine to question.  I love this person as family, and accept them for who they are.  But, we do have a tendency to be like vinegar and water!  Nails on a chalkboard, that is us!  When we both are emotionally well and let our “walls” down, we have great fun!  But, we both have a tendency to keep the “walls” up.  And I have no “filter”, I am the most honest person you could ever know.  I try to be diplomatic, but it’s not my strong suit.  I have found, that most people can’t handle honesty that well.  So, our friendship is deeply conflicted.  But, I know it is there for a reason.  That God put me on the path to reconnecting for a reason.  It is a challenge in my life, but one I am happy to face.  because no matter what, this person is important to me.  They are family.  I am fixing to start a new chapter in my life, approaching the age 37, my life is all about truth and understanding.  So, I am anxious to see where this journey will lead me.  I love my life, I have fears and anxiety like anyone else.  And my anxiety is what is causing my current mental state.  But, I find writing to be therapeutic and even though this post has done little to solve my problem, it has been helpful.  I know I need to just put my worries in God’s hand and trust in the power of LOVE.


~ by destiny2b on March 15, 2011.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: